Can't
I have a serious irrational frustration with people loosely throwing around the phrase “I wish I could.” Now, I’m not suggesting there’s anything wrong with having desires. Heck, I myself wish I could afford to go on an international trip on a regular basis. But when it comes to attainable skills and attributes, I find that that phrase often comes with a hidden attachment of “I wish I could [blank] without putting in the effort.”
Look, I get it. People have kids, a full-time job, dependents to look after, and so many other responsibilities that it’s nearly impossible to find the time to focus on everything that they want to do. I wish I could do something to change the reality that we often don’t have that time. Life ultimately ends up being about making choices and selecting what matters most. Oftentimes, those “I wish I could” activities are the ones set aside to make room for the more important priorities. With that said, here’s my challenge to you — whenever you catch yourself thinking “I wish I could,” consider also asking yourself “why can’t I?”
Wait… Didn’t I just use the phrase I claim to hate so much?
I wish I could do something to change the reality that we often don't have that time.
Well, why can’t I? Clearly, I can’t simply add more hours to the day. Instead, let me tell you about a time I caught myself mid-”I-wish-I-could” and decided to prove I can.
Today is April 8th, 2025. To most people, this day is also known as… well, Tuesday. But I know April 8th to be Draw a Bird Day. Because one year ago today, I caught myself thinking “I wish I could draw a bird.” So I did. It wasn’t an especially pretty bird, but it had wings and a beak, so I’d say it counted.
So why can’t I draw? Or rather: what does it mean to be able to draw? When people think about the ability to draw, they tend to envision talented artists, who can replicate visuals and create imaginative art pieces to an exquisite level of detail. What I’ve come to learn is that drawing is so much more. Drawing is about expressing the images in your head in a way that you’re able to share them with others. Whether it’s an original idea or a tribute to existing work, a masterful replication or a crude imitation, as long as you are putting pen to paper or pixels on a screen, you are drawing. So what does it mean to be able to draw? It means that you are able to enjoy the process of putting colors onto a canvas to produce an image.
Basically, I’m suggesting that we all lower our standards, right? In a way, yes. But here’s the thing: once I was able to shift my mindset, I came to the understanding that I never lacked the ability to draw to begin with. In fact, I had actually been suppressing my own capabilities by refusing to leverage them because I wasn’t already good enough. That’s a bit paradoxical, isn’t it? How can I possibly get better at something if I have to already be good enough to do it? By adjusting how I viewed my proficiencies, it became easier to justify the time I was spending on drawing and motivate myself to do it.
Over time, I was able to notice myself getting better, but that was a side effect rather than the main goal. The most surprising thing to come from this is when I started sharing my drawings. People actually liked them. Sure, some of that appreciation comes from the novelty and charm of an amateur artist, and some people were certainly just saying things to be nice. Whatever their true intentions were didn’t matter. Because I let go of my inhibitions, it made me feel better about the progress I was making.
The reason I’m writing this article is not to convince the world that every one of us can draw. I truly believe that the same principles apply to any talent or skill one can wish to obtain. Coming from the software development industry, I encounter a lot of people who suffer from imposter syndrome. A lot of “I wish I could be a better programmer.” I’ve even had developers tell me they wish they could do things like I do. Why can’t they? Well, the answer to that last one is simple — because I’m pretty damn spectacular. But also because I’m me, and this is a case where asking the question unveils a fault in the premise itself. Regardless of how spectacular I may be, it’s our individuality working together that makes society functional. That’s enough bragging from me, though. The other question — why can’t I be a better programmer — doesn’t have a straightforward answer. But it can be broken down into other questions:
- What does “better” even mean?
- Where am I at now, and where do I want to be?
- What steps have I taken to get there, and what more do I have left to do?
Remember that question from earlier? Why can’t I do something to change the fact that we don’t have time for the things we wish we could do? Maybe because… there is nothing to change. Every time we tell ourselves “I wish I could,” it is an admission that we can’t. What if we took it one step further? What if we asked ourselves “why,” and challenged ourselves to overcome those roadblocks? One way or another, the answer often ends up being because we haven’t tried. If you can’t even find the time to try, then maybe the truth is you don’t actually want it enough. When we can all come to that understanding, we will realize that there is no such thing as something we can’t do.
Don't you get it, you crustaceous cheapskate!? I can't make a Double Krabby Patty with the works! I can't put a patty on a bun, with lettuce, cheese, onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and top bun together in that order!